Every Wednesday I drive the defender to ISK around 1:15 and sit in the parking lot with other parents and drivers waiting on my 6 teenage girls. They ALWAYS call me on the phone to ask if I’m there yet.... And I’m ALWAYS already there. They can NEVER find me in the parking lot and have to call again. I’m ALWAYS in the same place. Oh teenage girls, completely engaged in only what’s right in front of them at the moment. 


Each Wednesday they talk about how much the miss me and how excited they are to see me, yet when we sit down at Java House they stare blankly back at me when I ask how their week is going and say things like, “good,” or “long,” or “boring,” or “busy.” The chat excitedly with each other, but when I try to enter the conversation I usually feel like I'm killing it. I’ve been trying and trying to ‘get inside’ their thoughts and lives, but to little avail. 


So we pray together and read a passage in John. I chose to study the Gospel of John with them mainly because my own youth pastor always told me, “you can start reading the Bible any time you want, even if you haven’t read it in weeks, months, or years. And if you don’t know where to start, start with John.” So I remembered this, and from my own knowledge and study of the Bible, I know that John was written for the purpose of showing the deity of Jesus and was written to a broad audience. I discussed it with one of the students who initiated this Bible study and we agreed: John is where we’d start. But because teenage girls would much rather talk about their prom dress, the last math test, the newest couple at school, the hardest teacher, etc, we haven’t gotten very far into the book. We’ve read about and discussed some of Jesus’ miracles, what John meant by ‘the Word became flesh,’ being ‘born again,’ and who Jesus said he is. There have been some deep and difficult topics and we’ve had some very valuable conversation. I, being the Bible study “leader,” have learned as much or maybe more than they have. They have some brilliant insight and great questions. Our Bible study, though, has been simply that: a Bible study. It’s been fairly academic. I have given personal examples and anecdotes, but they have hesitated to personally engage, as far as I can tell anyway. 


This week at Bible study, though, was markedly different. This week I felt a little more “in” with the girls. This week, when they got in the car, one of them was crying. We could all tell that she wasn’t open for discussion so we let her be. Then when we sat down at Java House, one of the first reports I obtained about them was that another of the girls had gotten grounded until next year. Next year! That’s a really long time. It’s only the beginning of May. She’s grounded until September. I asked why and she responded with, “some stuff I did.” I didn’t press.


SO... We moved on into the Bible study. After talking about our week and our coming weekend plans we talked about Jesus feeding the 5 thousand. It’s hard for them to focus right now because there are 3 weeks of school left and their anxiety is being obviously manifested in their speech and behavior: they’re ready for school to be out and tired of sitting still. So I asked a few questions and we discussed God meeting our needs and being all powerful. 


After Bible study we were standing around in the parking lot waiting for rides when “grounded girl” blurts out, “so, Amanda, were you ever a wild child?” My thoughts: ‘Yes! A personal question! Let’s talk about life, girls!’ I was then able to carefully, yet honestly answer her question about some difficult lessons I have learned and some terrible humiliation and pain I’ve experienced. She was relating to my poor decision making. I  encouraged her that she is capable of doing the right thing and that I’d love to help her figure that out. We’re planning on meeting up sometime soon before school ends and she leaves the country to talk about some struggles she’s having. I’m worried about her, but she’s a bright kid. I can see her desire for a healthier heart.


After everyone left, “crying girl” needed a ride home. She hopped in my car and right away began talking about why she was so upset. She’s just had a parent-teacher conference and feels some major pressure and fear about her grades and the coming end of the semester. Her parents (mother is a lawyer volunteering with the United Nations and father is a she-can’t-remember-his-title-but-he’s-pretty-important for the United States treasury) put a lot of pressure on her to achieve academically. She cried again to me in the car explaining that she knows she’s smart and is a good student, but wants to know, “when will they just be proud of me? When will I be enough?”  She explained that she’d just had a meeting with mom and a teacher and felt totally embarrassed and unsupported by her mother. This is a young girl who is on the honor role, wins horse shows, led the cheerleading squad, is involved in student government and other clubs at school. She is successful in many ways. I’m not saying her parents are her enemy.  She actually has very good parents. I’ve met them both and they expressed pride in their daughter. I felt her pain and tried to encourage her.


Maybe this doesn’t look like a success story to you, but in student ministry, we have to celebrate the small victories. It is difficult to earn the trust of a teenager. Especially the ones who move to a new country and community every two to three years and whose hearts get hardened by friendships that come and go, close relationships with other hurting teenagers, and busy, high-achieving parents; they feel like they don’t really have anyone aside from their own peers who could possibly understand them. Last weeks Bible study, for me, was very successful. Nobody made huge decisions, nobody gained life altering paradigm shift, but a few girls “let me in.” And I felt the Holy Spirit in me comforting the hearts of his beautiful broken daughters. 


Thank you for being a part of this ministry; your support is priceless.


Amanda